People always say ignorance is a blessing in disguise and yet many of us keeps searching for the answers that will tear us apart regardless of the price we will have to pay. Somewhere along the line we lose focus of our needs and we lean toward the fantasies that’s so far out of reach and the make-believe that it will make us the person we want to be so badly, yet we often forget we are who we are…just the way we’re supposed to be, and nobody else. We’re each created differently to stand out, to be a part of bigger picture and not just a massive illusions of perfection.
Deceptions becomes a part of our lives, and we once again we take cover underneath the cozy, open arms of fantasies and let our lives drift away day after day without regrets. We draw a line at want and need each day and determine which is worth giving up and fighting for but yet still blind to the things that’s so obvious to us, the things that should make us happy and make us complete…or nearly complete. We often sell ourselves short for an illusion and temporary escape and closed the one door that will lead us to salvation.
My writings become blur and often crossed path with my old thoughts because I, myself allowed myself to be deluded by the fantasies of my own making. Chasing after my own shadows and keep asking for the things I can’t have and I give up my own need to be…myself, because I wanted so bad to be a tiny part in that massive illusions of perfection. Nobody’s perfect and yet we all thrive to be in someone else’s eyes. Human nature can be satisfy by the most simpliest things in life has to offer and yet here we are, crying, yearning, screaming, aching, hating, lusting after the things that hurt us, and make us asking ourselves…why?
I lost faith a long time ago because I kept stumbling back every time I tried to make a difference so that my life will be better. Faith is such a powerful thing, it kept me alive for so long but now I feel so lost. My sense of directions no longer clear to me, I walk aimlessly each day hoping for guidance. Where do we go when all we see is dead ends? Who do we turn to when all we have is ourselves? What do we say when all is said and done? What do we do when we look in the mirror and no longer recognize the person before our eyes? What do we do…?
The little things we do, the things we say meant to be harmless and yet manage to hurt the ones we love, why didn’t we see that til it was too late? Why do we always cry when it’s over and not realizing it when it happened? We know impossibility and yet we keep pushing ourselves toward it, is it that hard to let go? The temptations all around us make us want to say “FUCK IT” and do the things we know deep within our hearts that it’s wrong. Why do we fight it? Why we keep wanting to be in a losing battle, is surrender so hard to accept for some of us? The blinding madness within me tells me to keep my self control have faith when all is lost, and that I’ve been down this road before. One step, two step, three step…watching the lies unfold before me…the world goes on and once again I keep walking down this path of destructions…
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